6:37 p.m. - 2018-01-15
Take the VER and run babe!
Lord, jump back on here after soooo long I didn't even know if I could get in and BOOM!!!! Two entries in one day. Lord, I need someone to talk to.
My mind runs non-stop. That is why I was so disappointed when my mother offered no emotional support in my decision to retire at 60. How at this age could I still knock on that door and expect any different response? Sigh...
Mom said "Nobody retires in their 50's!!!" And you know if you buy a rental property you will have to PAY for the appliances if they break and on and on and OMG I was 14 again. And angry and defensive and crying and it was so so painful. Why? Whyyyyyyy do I do that to myself?
"Mom! I am not IN my 50's. I am firmly standing at the very edge of 60!"
I would never have retired until at LEAST 65 and LONGER if I could, she said.
Mom's salary 4g month to get the mail and answer phones here and there, is NO comparison to the postal life and if you have worked it you know what I'm sayin. I have NO injuries after plant work and 20 plus years on my feet clerking/distribution. I want the time to enjoy life in the middle of the sandwich cookie. I will work if I have to and can find work after I eat the creamy filling. That's my plan. And I'm sticking to it. And I don't care what I live in, if it is sound and what I drive if it is sound because all I really care about at 59.33 years of age is spending as much time with my loved ones and friends and look at nature as much as I can. And those things are cheap. But priceless.
I am fearful of many things. Of not righting some wrongs. Of not spending more time with my grandchildren. Of not seeing Bryce Canyon. Maybe even experiencing love again....although I don't really expect that. And I am ok with it. I have had much and many kinds of love. I am blessed. But I am not really fearful of jumping off the employment line. I don't have a lot of savings. But I have very very humble requirements. I will have reduced my living expenses by 300 dollars a month and I have no other debt. I will be paying only 300 in lot rent. And I will have OUTDOOR area to move around in with a fire bowl. A deck for reading underneath the mature trees on either side of my unit. I am smart. Not confident but smart. And I will survive. The worst thing that could happen is I have to take in a roommate and stay in Wisconsin near my daughter who is so very devoted to me and my mirror image in so many ways. And my beautiful grandsons here. And the others would have to come see me, but I would be doing FINE. I will not incur unnecessary debt and as I have done for years, I will buy repurposed and discounted. It is FUN to save money. My ONLY weakness is....love of movie going. But I take advantage of deals that way too! I look forward to FINDING cheap things to do and writing about it all.
So excited!!
I have had this plan for three years. I am no more certain this time than I was three years ago when I packed every shred of what I owned and headed up here to a job that only guaranteed me 10 hours a week. A job that in the end yielded many more but it has never been guaranteed. And it has been all over the countryside. It just snowed 8 inches and it's not done. I have been lucky so far but I'm really not much of a gambler.
It is an exciting time and a scary time. But I am ready to re-create my life again. And document every moment. Carpe Diem!
And I gotta let the desire to win approval of others go.....yesterday.
