7:10 p.m. - 2008-04-23
Things that go THUD in the night.....
Even the most graphic descriptions from my sister did not prepare me for what I saw when I entered my mother's hospital room yesterday. She was not recognizable as the person I knew. Her face was a mess of black and blue, and there was a huge knot on her head swollen about 3/4" with a black circle in the middle about the size of a quarter. I couldn't believe she had weathered this for 4 days without going to the emergency room.
Mom fell Friday night. Her "story" is that she got tangled up in the comforter and tripped trying to get to the phone. She admitted to a "few drinks" prior to the fall, but I don't know if that was the cause, or just a factor in the whole event. Possibly, it helped her out more than hurt her. I was amazed that she wasn't hurt worse than she was....i.e. broken bones, etc. The tile is very hard, and mom is not so sturdy.
Finally, after seeing that the symptoms did not subside, she gave in reluctantly yesterday and my sister took her to the hospital. Her excuse for not going sooner? She didn't want to go on the weekend. God knows she could have died. The cat scan revealed bleeding on her brain. A significant amount, although they told us any amount is significant so I don't know exactly how much that is. We went to the hospital this morning and waited to see what the neurosurgeon would have to say. His take, wait and see. Tomorrow another cat scan. Hopefully it isn't continuing and will slowly take care of itself.
I find myself in a situation that feels very similar to my father's decline in 1998. We had a year to prepare for his death and now I've been faced with a glimpse of what could happen to mom. There are still things I need to resolve with her. Still things that need to be said. This could be the beginning of a downward spiral and if so, I need to make the most of this time.
Tomorrow we will see if it's surgery, or more wait and see. I hope we have more time. Sitting there looking at her asleep in her bed, so pitiful, so disfigured was quite unsettling. So proud. So determined not to "disrupt our schedules" to see to her needs.
I called Gigi (her mother) and told her today. She wants to go visit tomorrow with me and I told her she could but she had to refrain from more whining about her own situation. I told her that Mom had tried to tell her what was going on, but she was so consumed with her own issues she didn't listen. I tried to tell her that she is half mom's problem, half the reason mom needs to drink at night. Everyone thinks they can live alone. Nobody WANTS to be in an assisted living facility. And the cold hard fact is that despite her apparent health and flourishing NOW, if she went home to live alone again, she would be back to square one. Not remembering to take her meds, not taking care of herself, sitting alone watching tv for most of the day.
It ain't going to be easy, but GOD help her if I end up being the one to be her caregiver.
