10:29 p.m. - 2006-03-29
There are two sides to every story......
It's far too late for me to be up on the eve of a 6:30 a.m. start time. I just had to write a little...
I don't know what to attribute my increased sex drive to, but I'm sure not knockin' it! There have been some amazing opportunities lately. (Days I thought were gone forever!) New, fresh, exciting. After 15 years of marriage....I am amazed to still have such a strong sexual connection with Craig. I hear so many horror stories among other women who perform their marital duties with little real interest or anticipation.
Having said that....it confuses me terribly when I have stirrings while thinking of other men. Sometimes very STRONG stirrings. I know that I would never want to lose Craig or hurt him, and that I would never again find the kind of love I've found with him. I adore his playfulness, the gentle passion, the way he takes care of me, what a great father he is! That's a pretty high pedestal I have him on isn't it...lol....but it's really deserved. He has very few things about him that I can complain about. I doubt he would say the same about me!
Still these thoughts run through my mind, and I'm having a hard time mentally sorting them out. I've just used the thoughts lately to weave into a beautiful fantasy. And sometimes when I'm up late, and I sit outside looking up at the clear blue sky with all it's wonder, and I "upload" one of those fantasies. I can almost feel what that first union might be like. The electricity.... The uncontrollable arousal overcomes my soul, as my body writhes with each emotional thrust. And for now, that is enough.
Great night. Great sex. Hopefully great sleep.
G'night
