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12:42 a.m. - 2006-04-01
Memories, like the corners of my mind.....
Perfect peace.

It's beautiful outside and I spent some time today out by the Tomoka River, one of my favorite places in the world. I got off work earlier than usual so I set out, notebook in hand (GOTTA get that laptop!) and sat by the water reading, writing, and just enjoying the beauty around me.

I take that beauty for granted so much of the time. I've always lived here, and tend to spend my time daydreaming of living in a different landscape, perhaps Tennessee, or North Carolina. While looking for a picture of my happy place today, I began to look at other pictures we have of other local areas. As uploaded the images, I got a real concrete vision of some sights that I will surely miss if we do ever move.

My after work inspiration spot:


My lunch spot when I work at the small office:

A great sunset near work:

Lighthouse at Ponce Inlet:


See what I Mean? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I listened to the new James Blunt cd tonight. It was pretty good. He's got an interesting sound.....closest I can describe it is a combo between the Beegees and Rob Thomas voice-wise. Some good music though, in keeping with my usual musical interest category..."Music that sounds like a broken heart feels".

Now I'm listening to Led Zeppelin as I write. I haven't heard alot of these songs since "back in the day" when I bought this album hot off the shelves, new release. So many memories: Parties, skinny dipping at Lake Neoga (and seeing alligators!) and of course, first love. I was thinking of Randy. He was the my first love. We lay for hours on his mother's bed kissing, our bodies rubbing until we would almost explode, but stopping short of anything I felt my conscience couldn't handle. I fell so hard for this beautiful, troubled boy. He lived with his three sisters and mother in a single wide trailer. She was a bartender and worked late nights. I remember meeting her for the first time, in bed, with a boyfriend. It was a very different lifestyle than any I'd observed before. Pot was always in the house, and Randy's second grade sister would beg him to let her roll a joint.

Second grade.

Anyway....Randy and his sisters eventually ended up in foster homes. Last I heard he had turned out ok, was working in the computer field and had a lovely home in Tennessee. I would really like to try and contact him. He probably wouldn't even remember me (but then again....with memories of my "psycho Father", he probably would....) I'd just like to know that the boy who made my heart soar to heights I'd never known before, as well as break in a million pieces at times, is ok.

No Quarter is playing now. Man, what a song. I remember lying on my bed at around age 14 listening to it over and over, mesmerized. I also remember crying my eyes out to it a few times. That definitely falls into the "sounds like a broken heart feels" category....LOL

Since I mentioned psycho dad again....I had to post this picture of him at his finest. The toddler alcoholic is my oldest daughter, Christa. (Who incidently turned out very well, despite Dad's influences..haha)


Ok, I'm feeling VERY mellow now. I think I'll go star-gaze some more.

G'night



 

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