8:07 p.m. - 2018-03-31
OMG Retirement and Rumpel Minze. I am NOT proud. Farewell to dignity lol
God. I should be starting my book rather than dropping stuff here but I guess I can always gather bits and pieces from my diary...
Yesterday I walked away from the best decision I ever made. 27.5 years with the post office. I did not shed a tear and I am a virtual fountain of tears for every occasion so this really speaks volumes about how certain I am this is what I am supposed to do.
I spent the week visiting different offices and having lunches with dear friends I made. I ended the week with subs at our office, 2 hours work, and walking out as free as I knew I would feel. Was so happy to begin the next chapter.
I pull out on Tuesday for Florida the long way lol Through Asheville, then Newberry, then Charleston and finally home around the 10th. It will be a fun adventure and another growth experience. I will be myself, I will nurture my soul and I will try to do good. That would make me a very happy retiree. Volunteering at my Beloved Maywood Park.
I did feel very weird this morning though. I thought I had plans last night and they kind of fell through. I was disappointed but not too bad, so I went to my favorite little tavern for a drink. I had way too many. I joined my friend later after driving drunk and missing my exit quite a bit out of the way I had other stuff in the car I was just bat shit crazy wheeeeee lets party. I was free.
Then I woke up this morning in someone elses bed. There wasn't much going on, I just was unable to drive. I was that toasted. I was horrified since I KNOW I snore like a freight train. I was horrified I could not find my clothes this morning in the dark. I was further horrified that I stood a few minutes later at the gas pump, in 39 degree weather, shoeless pumping gas. OH, and braless. I never did find that :(
So now the reality that I could have killed someone, or myself or just done things I would not even remember today. I am still not sure I remember alot about last night. I remember passing out on my friend's porch floor, then rolling into his bed I am pretty ashamed of my behavior. I do not know him well enough to be doing this shit. I am discouraged that I fell so far so fast. BUT in my defense, I had just retired. So, I give myself a pass and keep myself in check.
The first gift I got from retirement was a frikkin cold. And it's a goodie. For me to leave for my rustic camp. Oh well, it's all good If I died now, I have lived. I am good.
I bought myself a JBL speaker with google assist and I am just beside myself. How cool it is to keep announcing what I'd like to hear and adding it to playlists. WOW I know I'm kind of late to the party. But WOW
I keep thinking about this thing last night. I do care so much for this person. And I want to be a positive force in his life. And that is why leaving for two months is going to be the best thing I possibly could do. And if I come back and he has met someone, I will smile. Because maybe I had a little piece in there that helped him feel better about himself . He is beautiful. He is smart. And he has changed the way I see the world. I hope to have him as a friend forever. But I know I am annoying. I will deal. I am meeting new people every day. I did read a quote that said "If it's meant for you, you will not have to beg for it." I know what I bring to the table, and I am fine eating alone!
I never in a million years would have dreamed I could get so excited about a man. Again. Now I feel no interest in women. I am not definable. I am just me. I just love life, and all the folks in it that contribute so richly to the web of memories I form every day. I am so blessed to be so outgoing, and charming lol Over the top but could be ok. With a little control lol
