6:23 p.m. - 2018-07-11
I know it seems like I am on speed. I cannot stop because I remember how horrible it was to be inside so much in winter. I have this down now! Today I kayaked the perimeter of the lake, gathering trash. It filled a good part of a 13 gallon plastic bag. It was most gratifying. I love the quarry. It costs me $17 for an hour of kayaking but it is well worth it to be so close. I put my JBL's on and jam and just paddle. and float, and look at stuff. Today a big ol toad scared the crap out of me. He was the same coloring as the rocks etc. I was happy to be able to do something for this beautiful landscape. I feel so lucky to be here.
It feels so surreal. To be so happy and unencumbered. Today I contacted a guy who has been interested in meeting me. My grill still sits in my yard killing grass and I need it assembled. Eel said he would. Steph said he would. And I sit here waiting and making ribs in my oven. Now I will solicit help from my son in law. I have done alot for them, and he owes me lol Besides I am not really ready to jump into anything with Mike.
Mike came over on the 4th. He is acquainted with my neighbor, Angie. He was pleasant. Nice looking. Widowed. Has a "Vette" and a Rogue and very nice clothes. He talks alot, like me and he said he got a mani-pedi today, so that's kinda cool. I can deal with a metrosexual lol I can pretty much deal with anything lol So no meeting today thankfully. I'm just not ready to meet anyone I might be attracted to. I am too attached to Eel. I don't know the damn rules. He hasn't jumped me. And I AM jumpable. I know I am. Actually pretty damn jumpable for nearly 60. Do I keep him for a friend and find fun on the outside. I don't want to muddy the waters. I love what I have with Eel. I can dance and laugh and joke and hear great music and admire this very unique and interesting man from a distance. I think that is enough for me at this age. I don't need much. Of course it would be nice to feel touch. Body to body. Sex would be nice too. But I can work around that at this age. I just am having so much fun solo. I don't want to change that and meeting a newcomer could. I don't want to give Eel up in my life it is that simple. I have stuck it out through some pretty terrorizing situations and damn it, I am seeing this through.
I began to toy with ideas about vacation. I am planning to do a west trip in September I think. SD, I want to see the 50 ft Indian Statue. And Mount Rushmore. The Badlands. I think I can do this pretty reasonably. I don't need much. I can sleep anywhere, in anything. AirBnb offers other reasonable options. I will start looking right now after I finish this entry.
While kayakying and picking up garbage, I noticed Eel was fishing in his usual spot. I moved up and spoke with him for a few minutes. I told him I made food last night and I would bring some over. He seemed happy with that. He had the scooter out and was feeling the freedom I'm sure of that not having to drive that gas guzzler. So I will take food over tonight. IF he is sober enough after leaving his brother's house to remember he told me to come over. And we will see who is at home.....Jekyll or Hyde. I do NOT want to give up on this guy. And I would help him through anything....do anything short of financing him.....to make his life a little sunnier. God knows I have enough sunshine to share lol
Off to putter. And plan. And wonder if anything will ever happen. I don't want Vette, or mani's and pedi's man, and I want a wild and free thing just like Eel. I never knew I did. But I do. I am the same. I want to ride that wild ride right into the West.....and beyond. And never lose this special friend.