8:01 p.m. - 2013-10-30
More Aspie Tales.
I am too exhausted to try and recapture the magic that was my entry before it was accidently deleted. Damn it. I've done that too many times.
To summarize....The realtionship is dead. I found Bill surfing porn two hours when he'd told me that he was going to leave early and get a jump on all the activity he'd lined up. That wouldn't be such a huge issue, had he touched me in the last 7 months without me reaching out for him. I can't do it. I thought I could but I can't. Not if he's going to continue to idolize these "figments" these perfect women. I can see for the first time what a porn addiction looks like and its not pretty. He should buy stock in Jergens.
I can't really say much about that, you develop a sense of what feels right to you when you're alone, and it sets the bar high for others at times. I get that. But I cannot compete with the imaginary. The perfect. The unwrinkled, smooth lines. And I don't need to. I just need to find another boyfriend. I've seen real love. I am not bitter, just better in the long run.
But damn, it hurts tonight. He was a part of my world for a year and a half. It's going to take time.
I can't live with Aspergers. He needs to find another partner with it. That would be a great match :(
