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9:23 p.m. - 2013-09-20
Aspie Tales and Bent Not Broken
Weary.

Nikki had a rough patch today with Jackson. He's only 4, and mild autism. She's worked extensively with him and he is a joy to all of us. But he is very literal. And today at the McDonalds where her lifegroup meets to let the children play...a man was very intolerant of Jack's behavior. Which was only voicing that he did not want to play with his daughter/grandaughter? He wanted to play by himself. The man intimated that Nikki was not a good mother and Jackson was a brat. It sucks people are so ignorant. When she explained his disability...The man just rolled his eyes. She turned and burst into tears, and luckily her group surrounded her with love. It's not going to be easy with things. But it's never going to be boring. Jackson is very talented in drawing, music, and is a very very happy child. Nikki is fiercely protective of him and it breaks her heart to anticipate how this may cause him heartache in the future, this strange way of thinking to us. My Bill has a catalog of information in his brain that is staggering but he can't remember where he leaves things most of the time. Cant remember to zip his fly. I watched My Name Is Khan this week. Every Aspergers movie that I can find. It was an amazing movie and I saw several traits from both my loves in the lead actor.

Found out last night that Bill's bio-dad's girlfriend passed away. It was either a well hidden cancer, or very fast progressing one. We visited him in TN a couple of months ago and I met her for the first time. She was very memorable and one of those special people you look forward to seeing again. I'm sad that the opportunity will never be.

Geneva was a true southern Lady. She spoke with the drawl, was very gracious, and to hear Richard tell us she was a ball of fire. And now she's gone. Same as Bill's mom in April.

I saw the way Geneva looked at Richard. And Richard is a real SOB alot of the time. But I saw through that facade, and saw the kindness inside of him. His travel in life was peppered with a number of unfortunate incidents and a couple of jail terms. He's more respectable now, but ran with the Mob, or at least in the same bars...in Jersey. But when Geneva looked at him....it was the very same look I have when I look at Bill and he's playing with an animal, or enjoying something. When he smiles his really wonderful smile. Geneva really loved and cherished the time she and Richard had together. She lived a long life and touched many lives. She was 87 or 88. A good life, no doubt. She was always a giver.

Bill is in seclusion again. After his three day break he took to chill out and overcome being "furious" there was some resumed texting. But the last two days nothing. Except polite responses to necessary questions I had to text. RE: his dad's condition and what I knew, etc. I'm holding back. I love him and I miss him and I would love to see my dream fleshed out. But I think I've always known it was a long shot. It makes me so frustrated....the vision I have of getting the house set up very comfortably, working in the yard. Welking to the beach. Good neighors, maybe a block party sometime? I know I could make him happy. I just can't make him love me. And even if he does and he can't show it....it's probably impossible to overcome. I'm so fair. I'd take so little. But I can't do without it all. Give all, get nothing.

And that makes me sad. And want to crawl under the covers and not get up til Monday. A wonderful Filipino customer of mine invited me to a picnic nearby and I may go and experience another culture and different experiences. I'm sure there will be much laughter and I'm always all over that :)

Bent. Not broken.

 

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