2:27 p.m. - 2013-07-06
Friendships age like fine wine.....
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Impromptu lunch out with an old friend. It's so funny to gather with other women at this age, after being in a relationship with one I wonder if they think I might be giving them the eye? lol
Debbie and I met around 30 years ago at the Dr's office when we were both pregnant. We've been through heartache and happiness since, falling out of touch at times but when we rejoin, just like we'd never been apart.
I've been through three marriages, one relationship with a woman (well, two) and have attempted suicide. She has been broke most of her life, raised four kids with alot of love but still had to endure alot of mischief and misdemeanors from them. Daughter in law drug issues, in and out of jail, three kids. But a couple of her kids turned out well and make her life joy more than pain.
I have three of my own. And luckily they've been pretty ok most of the time. But my amazement at how well they've survived amidst my mayhem, we do have rough waters. My oldest just got surprised with divorce papers although it probably wasn't really a surprise, just bad timing. She works from home and opened the door to an officer who was soon comforting her when she realized what was occurring. From a distance I saw that her relationship was plagued with mother in law issues. Her husband lost his father at 16 and ended up being committed more to his mother than his wife. My daughter was not kind to him alot of the time but she was frustrated. Disappointed. As he was when he found out she was NOT his mother. His mother made it clear early in the relationship that she was unhappy with his choice. That coupled with his running to her with every issue eroded things very quickly. My daughter is a devoted (maybe too much at times) mother and a good person. She learned from me to throw a pretty low blow though, and it isn't pretty to be on the receiving end of that.
They were not suited for each other. He, though nice, was a terrible bore. He could go on and on about all the topics he was knowledgeable on, and believe me there were many. And he was emotionless pretty much. Forgive me, but she needs a man. Not a mouse. She will find her right fit. She's a smart girl and has alot going for her. These "bruises" will sharpen her and make her more valuable in her next round hopefully. Like mine have.
My lunch friend has stayed in her relationship for 38 years. She says the sex is still good. But he turned into a recluse and she's an outgoing gal. She's not so happy but she's comfortable in ways I am not. She's limited financially. Throw into the mix grandkids in and out of her home due to parental neglect or negative influence. And little money. How this woman continues to be so inspiring to so many in light of what she goes through every day is a mystery to me.
We haven't had it easy, either of us. But we still know how to smile, how to enjoy the simple things....how to live life.
The waitress asked about dessert and at first we hesitated. I asked what was exceptional and she said the key lime pie was made by a local baker and very good. So we each splurged and had a slice. It was worth every calorie and dime...melted in your mouth. It was truly the BEST part of a meal that was otherwise so-so at best.
What a nice opportunity to stop, slow down, and have some time with an old friend. We are survivors. And one day we may end up like the Golden Girls...and that would be ok. At this age women are the only ones who really relate to each other. Men are, well.....men. And a nice four bedroom house shared by four fun loving women? I think that could be a hoot!
I never will give up. I do believe some of the best times in my life are ahead. But I believe that MY mind set has alot more to do with that than I every realized before. I'm not young. I'm lucky to be as well as I have been but the clock is ticking....faster and faster it seems. I see better, I see worse. Every second needs to count. And until I "get that" I don't think I will be fully free.
On to the next act. What will that be? Movie? Beach? Easy. Exactly what I want to do for as long as I want to do it!!!!!! I gotta admit, my boyfriend does have a point. Being single does have its advantages....
