8:46 p.m. - 2010-04-22
Another beautiful evening
Great sunset. Even in the picture taken with my crap camera! Such beautiful purple/pink hues. I had planned to walk but the effects of staying up too late the past two nights are catching up with me.
I've really enjoyed my time alone this week. It is really a relief that instead of feeling afraid to be alone, I'm actually doing things I enjoy and having a great time. I can feel the life slowly fill my soul again. I see beauty and excitement in things that I would have been numb to just a few months ago. I am so grateful. I read something today that really hit me. About being kind. Only kind. In this moment. I remember a time when I was able to walk this path. About 9 years ago I was at a place in my life where I felt like I was at total peace. No lingering grudges, no gossipy nature, forgiving all...And I slipped away from that. I will find it again. I am getting too old to waste another minute in turmoil that can be avoided. I am too old to find myself with regrets when I can no longer go anymore. I feel closer to it each day, but I've got alot of work to do. I WILL get there.....
Work was excrutiatingly slow today. We continue to plod through each long day in the shadow of a dying Postal Service. Wondering if the next job eliminated might be yours. I have 20 years of service, so I would most likely have a JOB. The conditions would just not be nearly as attractive as my present position. I would probably either die from the physical labor or my butt would be in the best shape of my life. I just hope we can buy some time....I get a few more years in....
Getting late. Better turn in.
