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4:59 a.m. - 2008-10-26
Sadness and Hope
Today a funeral will be held for someone I knew as a school girl. Husband and wife both died instantly, hit headon by a drunk driver at 9 a.m. in the morning.

This tragedy once again reminds us that life is precious, and unpredictable. In a moment everything we know can change. Living is worth the effort it takes to live well.

On a more positive note, Rocky's ex-wife created a beautiful memorial site for us to go on and share our thoughts, view pictures, etc. What a blessing, to have such love both for the person her ex was, and for her kids to enable them to see all the ways their Dad touched the lives of others.

It's been two weeks since I've had contact with the other woman. For the most part, things have been easier than I thought they would be. Of course there are moments where my mind takes me to places that would be best not visited, but things are working. I know in my heart that I am on the right path. I know that the positive things that I held onto with Diana are the right things to focus on in a relationship and I am totally surprised at how quickly she is regaining trust in me. I have alleviated alot of stress, panic, frustration, and worry. I have begun to feel peace again.

Yesterday we had a small family picnic. Zach talked with Diana more than he's ever before. It was a very good idea. I knew it would be. I have always been the one who had to orchestrate these gatherings and sometimes that frustrates me, but the rewards far outweight the effort. I watched Caden play on the playground and his delight and innocence was wonderful. When he saw another child he exclaimed "BOY, BOY!" He loes the other children. He readily gave kisses, and when leaving waved to both me, and mom on either side, with both hands. Darling! My mother enjoyed seeing the kids, and Caden. I enjoyed spending time with Mom as well, relaxed and peaceful. It was a good day.

Also a good fishing day yesterday. We caught four drum. Diana was kind enough to offer to clean them for practice. She did well, but not well enough for her own satisfaction as she "left alot of meat on the bones". When I weighed up the meat, there was about a pound and a half....more than the two of us could eat at one meal. I was satisfied, and moreso because I didn't have to clean them myself...lol

Next weekend is the drum circle. Another chance to create more memories. Diana hasn't been to one before and this should be a great opportunity also to Kayak the Suwannee River. One day at a time. New memories, new strength, new hope.

 

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