8:29 p.m. - 2007-10-30
Rainy Day Blues
Today really sucked. The "crazies" were out in full force including a woman who had shaved her eyebrows and was acting mildly psychotic. And Old Crotchety guy from the magic shop who often has his little fits of rage over relatively insignificant stuff. Slamming his fist down on the counter while loudly proclaiming "DAMMIT" was just a little much for me today. I've been extremely edgy, even resorted for a Xanax....so it just was the wrong place at the wrong time. I was not very nice.
And...Diana's parents come in on Thursday. That creates enough anxiety without a storm brewing off the coast. It's alread definitely screwed up plans for Friday.
One of the contributing factors to my emotional seesaw is the suicide. I got a call at 11:45 Sunday night from my Nikki. Now you know when you hear the phone ring that late, it's not good. And then when you hear your daughter sobbing, it gets worse. Luckily, and I feel guilty sayng that, it wasn't her family but a friend's who were experiencing this tragedy. Nikki's best friend, Teresa's fiancee killed himself. While she was at a bridal show no less. I can't even imagine what that must feel like. It was a blessing that she had a feeling something was wrong and sent her father to check on him before going herself. So my daughter flew down yesterday to be with her. She was to be Teresa's maid of honor in October when she was to wed. She and Teresa have been friends for a long time, and broke or not, it was the only thing she could do.
It really makes you aware of your mortality at times like this. How quickly things can change your life forever. It also causes you to wonder how bad things must have been for poor Allen, to put all these people who love you through such hell.
So I don't have much else to say tonight. I'm really blue and just want to meditate, or listen to some good music. And try once again to remind myself how precious every moment is in this brief life.
