11:55 p.m. - 2006-03-22
Current Events
Ahhhhhh..... I'm floating in the clouds. What a wonderful night.
Zach is away at a concert so it's just the two of us. Finally! I've been so sexually stressed that I've had some particularly disturbing dreams lately. (Darling Sigi, where are you when I need you???) I can always tell when I'm getting to the end of my "rope" in that area....the dreams get really weird.
Took a nice hot bath, scrubbed with my delicious ginger scrub, and turned on some great music. What happened next was a delightful surprise.
I have been reading a book on midlife; "Awakening at Midlife", and today a passage said "it feels like everything is turned up a notch". I couldn't believe how well that fit what I've been feeling lately. And tonight it felt like it was turned up more quite a bit more than a notch. I can't even describe in words just how powerful IT was. And that was a connection that really needed to be made.
I'm getting more ME time these days. I think Craig is "getting it" more now. After everyone else is in bed I go out on the porch, relax, dance (I notice that my rhythm improves as I exercise more, a nice perk!) or just sit and listen to music. And then I make my way inside to write whatever comes to mind.
I'll readily admit that I'm not getting as much sleep as I probably should be. But it seems to be working ok for the time being. Exercise is also giving me more energy so I'm "sturdier" than I was before.
Music is so much a part of me that I am wondering how I am going to quiet myself in Sedona. Tonight I dusted off my drum (the one that has been sitting on a shelf for most of the last year!) and just started jamming with a few songs.(last was Hendrix...that was fun!) I totally let go and just let the music take me away. It was awesome. I am more anxious than ever to go to another drum circle now. And if it's not too difficult, I'm gonna take the drum with me to Sedona.
Next two days I'm in the small office. Pressure was so intense today at the "big house" that I was suffocating. I stayed in the store away from everyone and managed to survive.
I notice that the more that my spirit improves the more I am able to give more of myself away. My soul has been needing to do more lately. I was just so immersed in it for so long, so burned out, that when I made the break I REALLY made it. It feels good to be getting back in the swing of things, but more in BALANCE.
I've been thinking of getting a small tattoo. I'd like to celebrate my renewal with something meaningful. I love the sun/moon/stars thing. I found a really nice picture online.
Yeah, midlife ain't half bad these days......
