10:17 a.m. - 2006-03-12
The \"Mother\" of all Aha moments.....
Dozed a little after my last entry and woke feeling a little more like starting my day. I usually fall asleep in no more than 5 minutes and sleep well through most nights. That hasn't been the case for the past few days. The more I think, the more I write, the more I write, the less I sleep.
I sat out by the pool for a while reading. It's really nice outside; enough breeze to coax my wind chimes into playing a peaceful melody to soothe me while I read. The book I am reading is amazing. I have only read 27 pages but what I have already absorbed has resonated within me in an astonishing way. It deals with midlife and the inability for alot of us to navigate this maelstrom and come out unscathed. It offers an abundance of valuable insights for overcoming the chaos. This book should be required reading for anyone who is experiencing anxiety related to aging and midlife.
This poem, written by Mary Oliver, perfectly describes so many of the emotions I have been feeling:
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations--
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
After reading this for the first time I was truly blown away. From here, all roads lead to Sedona.....where I will lift it all up to Spirit and ask for help and guidance in this quest to free myself from the chains that have enslaved me for for so very long.
