9:50 a.m. - 2006-03-05
Awaken, my Soul
It's a glorious day outside, as it was yesterday. I spent most of the day outside, reveling in the sunshine that was accompanied by cool breezes, preventing my pre-menopausal body from dripping sweat as so frequently and UNPREDICTABLY happens these days. The breeze also stirs up a wonderful tinkling of wind chimes and occasionally even stirs the MEGA CHIME. This chime creates some of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard but it takes alot of power to get it going.
Yesterday a.m. we went to the beach to help plant sea oats, then I worked all afternoon awakening the yard from it's winter slumber. You can tell I love purple! Pansies, pansies, and more pansies, and other flowers in varying shades of purple. I dont tend to fashion a very creative mixture (i.e. Better Homes and Gardens stuff) I just plant things that make me happy. I cleaned around the pool area. I am readying my "sanctuary" for the next few months and the many hours I will spend gathering my thoughts, sipping wine, or just winding down after a long day.
My muscles are crying out to me this morning! I've been walking every day, but usually a stroll outdoors and I never tend to push myself the way I should. Too busy looking up, or around! It's kind of hard to power walk while looking up at the stars. (I'm recalling the time I took a spill off the pavement while tuning the IPOD in the dark....and the burning pain in my wrist later!) The treadmill yields a much more effective workout but I much prefer most times to walk around the neighborhood, see different sights, different faces. The skies have been wonderfully clear lately and I saw two shooting stars Friday. While walking outside I also enjoy the aroma in the air, of meals cooked in homes around me and the fragrance of what I assume is dryer sheets. Ha...real nature smells! I do not, however, enjoy the occasional rustling of the animal that scurries away from me in the brush, as I walk by. My immagination always runs wild. You never know what it might be. At one time we had a bear roaming the neighborhood. While turning over the dirt in one of my flower pots yesterday I disturbed a Five Lined Skink. He disturbed me about as much! And then I started breathing again, and was able appreciate the beauty of the bright blue colors running most of the length of his body. For someone who is a native Floridian, with many years of exposure to all these crawly things, I still jump a little when when I come face to face with some.
My head is so much clearer these days. I really need to understand better why I experience so much darkness and depression in the winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder perhaps? I come alive in fall and spring when the seasons overlap and warm sunshine is mixed with air just cool enough to make it comfortable for all things outdoors. I HATE the summer when it is just HOT. Probably shouldn't be living in the "Sunshine State", huh?
Bike week is in full swing in Daytona. We are going to take a walk down Main Street today and do some people watching. I will post some interesting pictures later as hubby can't wait to play with his camera. I wanted to go last night, after the alcohol had been flowing freely for the first official day of the event, and get some more INTERESTING pictures but nobody else around here had enough life left in them by nighttime for that. We're all well rested now and ready to roll.
I've been really troubled lately over my spiritual life, or lack of it. I am intensely seeking a comfortable spiritual connection. I spent most of my 47 years buying into what I was spoon-fed from childhood without question. Looking back, most of the time all it did for me was provide me with an abundance of guilt. (although that may have been more from my upbringing....as that was always a major theme in our household) There's got to be a better way. So the journey begins. Do I seek this because so often I can't be happy within? .... am I looking to someone or something else to make me happy? ....or do I seek this because it is right and natural to want to connect with a higher power? Or do I just need therapy?
Gotta get outside....can't waste this weather!
