12:05 p.m. - 2005-06-21
Should I have pushed her over the mountain?
I'm not finding any time to write at home these days so I thought I'd try it at work. I'm at the kinder, gentler office so maybe I can get away with it on my lunch hour.
Well, I survived the trip with Gran. It was a hell of sorts, but not the kind I'd prepared myself mentally for.
We left home Wednesday night so that we could stay in a hotel near the aiport and be livelier the next morning for our flight. The first thing I did upon arrival was ditch Gran and head to the fitness room. I didn't figure this would be a problem because she usually retires around 6 or so and watches tv in bed til she falls asleep. I exercised, and then went for a bite to eat. When I got back to the room, she was sleeping. I tried to sleep. I was feeling much anxiety about this trip and wanted to call Hubby and beg him to drop everything and drive up with son to be with us. I wasn't prepared to deal with this alone. Silly huh? How bad could a little old 86 year old woman be? Hmmm...
Got up bright and early (5:00) so that we could be at the airport by 6 a.m. I asked Gran, "Do you have your ID? it's a must!" and she replied that she did. We managed to navigate the park lot, and got into the line at exactly one hour pre-flight. I reached into my wallet for my ID and my stomach fell to my feet. It wasn't there. My mind was racing...I vaguely remembered switching wallets, and then decided the new one was too small, and then moving everything back to the original. Everything but my ID. I wanted to scream, cry, call off the trip but still my mind was racing....trying desperately to come up with some kind of solution. A almost-kind Delta rep came by and assured me that I would not fly without my ID and told me I needed to use the black phone (where??) and call to try and reschedule.
I found the phone and began my fruitless efforts. The next flight was full, the following nearly full...I might get on that one at 11:10, etc etc. I decided the only option I had other than giving up and going home was to call Hubby and try and get him to come bring me the ID (70 miles from the airport). I thought that over for a moment and decided that maybe it would be better if he just drove us up. Who knows if I'd be able to get on a later flight? That way at least I wouldn't have to endure things alone with Gran, and we could make somewhat of a family trip out of it. No matter that he'd already lined up a multitude of fun activities for he and son to do while I was gone.
Hubby sprang into action, packed a few things, woke a VERY sleepy son (who had stayed up til 3:30 the night before computering) and headed out. No complaints, no protesting, nothing....he just jumped into the car and came to me. I was amazed. What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful man? I would NEVER have been so accomodating, at least not without a good chastising. But he was very gracious and said nothing but "It's no big deal, stuff happens"
We got to NC around 4:30. The weather was beautiful. We got to see the freakin' flowers. I was panic stricken at first because the first stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway didn't have but a scattering of almost done blooms and I was so afraid we'd missed the damn things!) The second leg of the parkway revealed some gorgeous blooms and Gran said "Now THAT is what I remember." I had redeemed myself. We drove her around during the day, went out to dinner, then did family stuff at night while she rested. It wasn't a bad trip overall.
The ride home was less than amusing. By now I'd heard stories repeated more than I cared to admit. I'd heard how fat or skinny every passerby was, how Brad was such pond scum to ever leave dear sweet Jennifer, how miserable her life was from birth to present, and so on. I put my headphones to IPOD on and zoned her out. Poor hubby couldn't escape. But when we arrived at the park lot, I had to take her home in my car. It was not pretty.
First thing, she's telling me how to drive. Then she breaks into family history and who owes her what, who has not come to see her, how she hopes she scrounges enough money to help her poor indigent daughter (my mom's sister who has spent more money raising wolves and various other creatures all her life than putting money into important things like a door on the trailer, teeth repairs etc). The final straw was when she was detailing wolf-woman's offspring and their offspring and she told me about Scotty's son who was named Bradley after her maiden name and how "He wasn't very smart and she kind of wished they hadn't named him Bradley" That was it. I scolded her and told her that was an awful thing to say...and added "We wouldn't want to tarnish the Bradley name would we?" (never mind Gran's two siblings who committed suicide)and she continued "NO, we wouldn't" I told her that she shouldn't worry too much about leaving money to wolf-woman because she'd squander it in no time. I was a bitch. (But I get pretty bitter that my mom does so much for Gran and gets little to no recognition for it) I later regretted this but she probably doesn't remember alot of it anyway. She did consider the trip a success. My mom passed on a few dollars to help cushion the financial blow of the unexpected expenses for my trip, just relieved that she didn't have to make the trip. What a gal!
I guess Gran was content with the trip. She bills it as "her last before she dies". Yesterday was her 87th birthday. I made mom promise not to die first. I would never be able to handle things....should I be the one to have to care for her. She told me the doctor said she might live another 10 years. God help me cuz I won't.
